Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
