the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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