apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
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My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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