He is an equal opportunity slut.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
