nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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