Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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