dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
