okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
