sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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