New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
