I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
