If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
