hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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