I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
