I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
