suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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