you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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