The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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