I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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