i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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