Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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