The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think i have herpe
just one?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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