i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Terrible idea I love it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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