How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize