I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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