Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
