Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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