Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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