New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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