Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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