before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
