Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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