I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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