your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
