Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
