i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
this is an emotional support booty call
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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