dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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