I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize