I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
