Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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