Tell her she can't have a vagina
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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