Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
wrigley field is MILF paradise
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
