Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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