He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
