Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
