I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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