You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
