She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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