6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
