I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
