I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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