I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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