just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize