you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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