he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
