Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
