I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
